Ready to bring in the New Year

A lioness peacefully embraces her two playful cubs in the golden savanna grass, exuding warmth and tenderness.

I'm so ready to ring in the New Year. I know, I know... We all say, "New Year, New Me". But that's not what I have in mind. More so New Year, Fresh Start. I feel like I've been carrying the weight of other people for a while. I finally told my Ex that if he wants to have custody time with our kids, he will need to take me to court. What a lot of people don't understand with 50/50 custody, when a parent abandons their rights, the original agreement is null and void. I am no longer obligated to give him anytime which is for the best. I used to want to keep the peace and not rock the boat because I thought that was best, not anymore. I remind myself daily that I am the Lioness, and they are my cubs, I will fight till my last breath for my babies.

I am not a peacekeeper; I am here to build something. I have more purpose than people pleasing and keeping the peace. I have finally found my true voice and I never want to lose it again. I might be seen as quiet and observant but that's the CPTSD. I have my own thoughts and feelings. They will be heard not silenced. Sometimes the loudest person isn't the most intelligent, normally it's the observers. We can see people's body language, facial expressions and etc. I feel like we all need to take a step back and focus on our emotional intelligence in 2025, because that's what a lot of people lack. I was one of them. I used to operate out of the ego, I would allow my emotions to control everything. My divorce and friendship fallouts made me take a step back and look at myself. Self-reflection is such a big part of healing.

Self-reflection and therapy have opened my eyes to the work that I needed to do. I want to be a high vibrational woman who helps other women. I want to help people see their worth because for a long time I didn't see my own. I became okay with what my life was, never become comfortable in a shitty situation. God threw me a hail Mary and I caught that ball and ran with it.

That hail Mary of a pass has brought me back to my childhood home. Which helped heal a lot of inner child wounds as well as relationships. My children have a safe and loving home. They are flourishing. My oldest, V, has made honor roll and has a great group of friends. My youngest, S, has become a completely different child. We worked with a behaviorist and S is flourishing in school and is such a social butterfly. I have met some amazing people who have helped me find my faith in Spirituality, finding a community of women that accept me for me, and brought an amazing man into my life. Also, for my fellow women who are healing, you do not have to be healed to find happiness or love. My boyfriend has helped me in ways that he probably doesn't understand. He has given me the space to be my goofy silly self without judgement and shown me what a healthy relationship looks like. I've never had a relationship like this. We can have tough conversations, but we do not throw in the towel, we do not yell at each other. It's eye opening that you don't always have to argue to be heard.

So, for 2025, I want to bring in abundance. Abundance of money, love and health. I want my kids to continue to grow and flourish. I want them to become the young ladies they need to be for themselves. For me, I want this platform to grow. I want to add other resources beside my writing to help others. I want to become completely independent where I can move out and give my parents their peace back. I want to take my kids on vacation because they deserve it. I WANT TO LIVE. I want adventure. I want to grow my life. No more barriers, no more complications. I just want to live.