Unlocking the Mysteries of Healing: A Journey through Astrology, Natal Charts, and Chakras

This week, I felt quite reserved. I've drafted three separate blogs but haven't published any. Following my therapy session, I chose to let the words come naturally and see where this post leads.

Healing isn't a straightforward process. You make progress, then face setbacks. It's tiring. I'm worn out from the continuous self-analysis I engage in. My therapist mentioned that constantly analyzing my emotions isn't healthy—it's a trauma response. I understand. In the past, I would express my feelings but never felt listened to, so I stopped sharing them. I often felt like the least important person. This largely explains why I tend to isolate myself when I have strong emotions. I overthink my feelings and handle them on my own. My "Shadow side" emerges, signaling that I need self-care and downtime. Learning about Astrology has been beneficial for me. I began exploring what defines me. I invested in having my Natal Birth Chart done and found a good therapist to address my toxic traits and heal old wounds. I discovered that certain placements reveal your wounds, relationships, emotions, career, and areas for personal growth. Once my chart was explained to me, it opened my mind to the changes I needed to make. I started by closing old chapters to welcome new ones, which included selling my house, getting divorced, and standing up for myself. It was challenging due to my past experiences, but much of this work was done privately.

People often mistake self-isolation for ghosting. However, it isn't, as long as you reconnect with your core group. I've told others, "When I become quiet, it's because I'm dealing with something; please don't interpret my silence as disrespect." I recognize that I'm not feeling like myself and prefer to address my issues privately, avoiding being a burden to my family and friends, as I'm always aware that everyone has their own challenges. Yet, this reluctance to ask for help when needed is a wound. I'm learning that expressing my needs aids in healing my emotional wounds. I've not always been adept at communicating; I would often withdraw or cry silently.

When I become emotional, it feels like I'm physically choking and unable to breathe, making it painful to speak. I've undergone multiple Reiki Healings to try to shift this energy, and it has improved over time. I've also tried a Crystal Light Healing bed, which was very intense.

Most of the healings I've experienced are intense. I become so overwhelmed with pain in my throat that I cry and hyperventilate while in a meditative state. It's not pleasant dealing with a throat chakra blockage. I am actively working on this by meditating with crystals. In the past, I couldn't clear my mind long enough to meditate, but now I find it incredibly peaceful. No "inner monologue," no overthinking. Just peace.

When it comes to crystals, I do have my favorites, but recently I've been working with Aquamarine, Lapis Lazuli, and Blue Apatite. I create a tranquil environment and keep these stones nearby while meditating. They are believed to help cleanse and open the throat chakra. This practice has allowed me to express my emotions with greater intelligence, although it requires me to pause and reflect on the reasons behind my feelings. However, this often leads to a lot of self-questioning or "overthinking," which isn't always beneficial, as my anxiety tends to surface.

The positive aspect is that I seldom get angry now, and if I do, I choose to step away from the conversation. Since words can be very hurtful, I prefer to calm down before revisiting the issue, approaching it from an "I feel" perspective rather than being confrontational. I've been told I possess remarkable self-control, which is generally accurate. I wasn't sure why I had such self-control, but I learned early on to act with integrity, and I remain committed to that principle.

I acknowledge my anger because I've been labeled in the past as "an angry person." It wasn't that I was inherently angry; I was tired of being perceived as "the doormat," "people pleaser," or even "the stupid one." Sometimes, you simply need to walk away. I'm a very calm, quiet individual who doesn't tolerate nonsense. I used to argue with my words to get others to stand up for me. But now I understand, after working extensively on myself and my reactions, that some people are not worth my energy. Choosing to distance myself from certain individuals has come at a cost, but it's a price I'd pay again. The cost was my former life and reputation. I never really cared about my reputation, and my life wasn’t perfect, so I'd do it all over again. No regrets.

I became comfortable with losing everything and having people "hate me." This transformation led me to a more healed version of myself. However, there are times when things still arise and trigger me, making it feel like I'm taking three steps back, which I dislike. Yet, these triggers serve as reminders of the progress I've made and the past lessons that will help me in the future, preventing me from repeating the same cycles and ensuring the past doesn't interfere with the present. They remind me to hold firm in my boundaries and avoid being pulled backward. It took a lot to establish boundaries with people from my past, and sometimes I feel cold. But I’d rather be seen as difficult than be a doormat.

Returning to the Natal Charts, my past is reflected in my placements. I have a challenging 7th house, symbolizing partnership and marriage. My 7th house is in Aries, making me passionate and assertive in my relationships. My bluntness often takes over. I have a take-charge attitude, and I speak up when something displeases me. I need connections with people who can match that attitude. I prefer one-on-one connections. This placement required me to delve deeply into it as well. My 7th house is governed by Aries, the god of war.

My Leo Stellium is in my 11th house. Being a strong fixed fire sign, it brings a vibrant light, confidence, charisma, and artistic talent. I am a natural leader who uses humor, creativity, and performance. I am motivated to bring about positive change in communities, which deeply resonates with me. This is why I started this blog.

Leos reflect back to others what they might be lacking or feel insecure about. We are reliable and keep secrets, but don't test our trust. We prioritize truth and loyalty above all else. Once you break our trust, you're out. If you act petty, we'll respond in kind. As I mentioned, we're like a mirror. We have big hearts and want everyone to feel loved and confident, but don't confuse our self-assurance with arrogance. We do have insecurities; we just choose not to display them openly. Personally, I channel my insecurities into working out or excelling at work. This is called transmutation—I convert my personal pain into strength. That's always been my approach. When someone has doubted my abilities, I've made it my goal to prove them wrong. My insecurities aren't about competing with others. I don't desire what someone else has because that's not my path. Healing and spirituality have allowed me to deeply explore and understand who I am.